Tips for the Less Fortunate Male
February 25, 2010
It goes without saying that I have very little trouble enticing, wooing and satisfying members of the fairer sex. I shan’t bore you with details of my enthralling (s)exploits as I’m a modest man- in that respect at least. It has recently come to my attention however that not every man is as blessed as yours truly when it comes to pure sexual charisma. To you, my unfortunate fellow trouser wearers I dedicate this post.
A cursory glance at the internet has helped me to compile sage advice for those of you that would gain no benefit from my expert instruction in chatting-up techniques. Firstly, there are alternatives to a woman in terms of releasing that pent up man manna. I’m not talking about hombre on hombre action here but more so man on hand + ingenious technology activities. You may not be aware that there are some seriously interesting ways to make that ‘me time’ a little more fulfilling. Move over hand cream, hello Hiney Can! At first glance this cheeky item seems to be a can of knock-off imported lager, but lo and behold: after investigation this marvel reveals itself to be a sexual adventure in disguise! Just pop your old chap into the Hiney Can, get your wrist in gear and prepare to decant your own brand of ‘special brew’. One word of warning though: after a few too many sherries be careful not to confuse this undercover wonder with a genuine tipple or you’ll get a darn nasty shock.
If you prefer your stress reliever in a slightly more ladylike shape then those clever sex toy scientists have plenty to keep you entertained, however niche your taste. From the plus sized Fatty Patty Love Doll with her ‘3 colossal love holes’ to the GILF Love Doll for those chaps who have a hankering for the older (inflatable) lady.
The jewel in the crown for the unlucky in love gent however is the Hustler Virtual Girl, I shan’t lie to you my facially challenged friends: when I first saw this synthetic lovely I was almost smitten. With removable lady bits for easy cleaning and a permanent look of sultry mischievousness you’ll never again have to risk the inevitable rejection of that cute brunette on a Friday night in town: you’ll be too busy with your manmade lover.
Forever Yours
Rocky x
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